Broken Flowers: The Dildo Diet
January 1st
-”Stupid fat bitch!” I said to myself, while stuffing my mouth with a burger and smearing mayonnaise and ketchup all over my hands and face. Once again I had unwrapped it with the eagerness of an addict and shoved it up my hungry hole as if my life depended on it. “How can I be so weak and so stupid!” I started to cry, but still I wouldn't put it down. I finished the whole thing in record time as usual, and was left with my self-loathing.
I walked back home feeling miserable with no idea how to go on. The random passerby howling “moooo” behind my back hurt more than usual. I needed to do something! I would start by facing the facts. I took my clothes off and stood in front of my full dress mirror, the very one I was usually so eager to avoid.
The girl standing in front of me could have been beautiful, if she had not been a stupid fat cow. Fiery wavy red-hair were framing her pale and freckled face, a small nose and full lips. Under her red eyebrows, intense bright ice-blue eyes, still puffy from crying but full of anger. The reflection’s beauty was ruined by her inflated pig cheeks, her fat pale breasts resting on a belly so humongous that I could barely see her pussy. Her legs looked like upside down traffic cones, with cellulite all around. I didn’t dare to imagine what a disgusting flabby ass was hiding behind that bloated body. Her fat ass... my fat ass… I took a deep breath and stepped on the scale. The verdict: 226 lbs. At 5’4”, I truly felt I deserved to be heckled with “mooos”.
Why did it have to be food? The girls who chain-smoked were all skinny! They had these deep raspy voices that some men found so sexy. And the alcoholics? They were also thin, although the drinks supposedly had lots of calories. How the heck did that work, how was it fair? And what about that slut Suzie at work? All the guys were always leering and fantasizing about her. And rumor had it she was blowing dicks any chance she got in the parking lot! But no, she was beautiful and sexy and smiled all the time. Her addiction was not ruining her, not like me! No men in their right mind would fuck me as I was today, I was sure of it.
But what if they did? What if I had a lover that would fill me with his big dick instead, anytime I craved eating? And if I stuffed my face with burgers and fries, maybe they would put their cock so far up my mouth that I would puke everything back!
I closed my eyes, opened my lips and slowly slid my two fat fingers on my tongue. In my mind, I was in a hotel room. One of those fancy businessmen, maybe a CEO, was facing me with his zipper down and his hard dick in plain view… he was grabbing my head… pushing himself inside my mouth…
- “Open up pig!” he would say, “I will show you what goes in the mouth of a hungry slut like you!”
I shoved my fingers to the back of my tongue, and soon my fat tits and big round belly were showered by a mix of bile and half digested chunks of hamburger.
January 15th
I was sure my face was bright red. After having walked by the entrance at least five times, I finally took the big step and pushed the door of the adult store. I felt so embarrassed. The space itself was not big, and I had never seen so much weird stuff crammed in so little space. I had trouble navigating the store without my huge ass knocking down a boob mug or another poor taste accessory. Good, the cashier was a lady, even full of tattoos she seemed nice. She looked at me without any malice.
- “What can I do for you? Are you looking for something specific?”
- “Well… I… I wonder… I was thinking…” How sad that I couldn’t even utter three words.
- “Don’t worry ma’am, no judgment here. Just let me know if I can help” she replied politely.
- “Thank you hem… your tattoos look good.” No idea where that even came from.
She didn’t even thank me, just looked at me. I guessed she was used to getting those nervous compliments and wasn’t touched in the least.
- “Sorry… “ It took all my strength to calm myself and think straight again. “I’m looking for a toy, I want to learn how to… with my mouth.” That had been my plan. I had imagined that presenting myself as a slutty girl trying to practice how to please men would be less embarrassing than the truth, but it was still humiliating.
- “Ah you want to train yourself to deep-throat?” she asked, unfazed
- “Hum…yes, right…”
Later that night, I was naked again, kneeling in front of the mirror. I still looked like a humongous whale. At 222lbs, the scale said I had lost four pounds, but I couldn’t see any difference. I imagined my CEO in the hotel room, and me kneeling in front of the bed. He was not young but he would look sexy, chiseled, a willpower hard-as-steel emanating from his eyes. I could feel his stare on my guilty fat body.
- “So you’ve been stuffing your face again you fat slut!” He would always call it like it was.
- “Yes Sir, I am so sorry Sir!”
I would beg for his mercy but he would give me none. Him and his erect penis were slowly approaching, ever closer to me. I couldn’t believe how taken I was by this, I could see my pale pink nipples hardening in the mirror and my crotch was soaked!
I slowly pushed the six-inch flexible silicone dildo on my tongue. I gagged but it was not enough to make me expel my lunch. Was I losing sensitivity already? This had to work! I shoved it hard, the tip pressed against my throat, picturing my merciless lover pushing my head against his member.
- “I will make love to your mouth…” What a stupid pig I was, of course he wouldn’t talk like this! “I will fuck your throat!” he said instead.
And I started to move the toy back and fore, knocking at the door of my gullet. It didn’t take long for the spasms to become strong enough for the disgusting goo to come up to my mouth, and I puked into the bucket in front of me. The taste was nasty, I had eaten three hours earlier and there was more bile than food.
I imagined my CEO would pretend to be disgusted by my puking, but would still secretly be turned-on.
- “You disgusting heap of fat! You don’t deserve me!” he would tell me with disdain.
- “I beg you Sir, take me please oh please!” I would say in my most submissive voice.
I placed the head of the flexible silicon cock at the throbbing entrance of my vagina and pushed slowly, the snake making its way in my fat-constricted insides. I was lost in my fantasy, my lover pumping his cock inside of me harder and harder.
- “This is what my fat slut needs!” he told me “A big cock will fill you better than a burger and fries!”
February 4th
- “Emily! Really?”
I jumped and dropped the three cookies on the floor. I hadn’t heard my boss entering the break room.
- “Oh my god! Sorry, I am so embarrassed…” I replied. I had bragged to him that I was on a diet the whole week… I was really making a fool of myself.
- “Don’t apologize to me, it’s not my health. I’m just… well it’s disappointing” he told me.
He was sincere and it hurt. This was maybe the person in my life whose judgment mattered most to me. The contempt was visible on his face. I couldn’t bear the shame, I felt my throat tighten and tears coming to my eyes. I grabbed my purse, ran to the toilets and dove into a stall. I locked the door behind me and started to sob in my hands.
I needed to regain control, I had been a good girl for more than a month now. Sure it was not perfect, I had my ups and downs, but I had lost eight pounds. It was thanks to my imaginary lover, who was tough and always told me the truth, but still loved me enough to take my mouth and my pussy. He was nice, too nice for the fuck-up I really was, a fat pig getting caught red-handed and shamed by her boss. What I needed was a thug, a violent man who would treat me like the worthless bitch I was. It was what I truly deserved.
I unbuttoned my shirt exposing my fat belly, the source of all my troubles. I closed my eyes, imagining my new lover. He was still hazy, not fully defined, but he was angry at me.
- “You piece of shit! How dare you sink so low?” he would tell me.
- “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I’m just so weak, I don’t have the strength” I would reply, pleading.
- “If you don’t care about yourself, then think what I will do to you if you fuck up!” His eyes were getting mean.
I made a fist and punched my inflated belly. It didn’t hurt much, with being out of shape and with all the layers of fat. I did it again and again, until I turned red above my belly button. I rationalized that my imaginary abuser wouldn’t risk to go full force on me in a shared bathroom, but he warned me:
- “Wait until you are home, you will get a proper beating!”
I should have cried under the threat, but in truth I was relieved that I would get what was coming to me. I couldn’t focus for the rest of the day, all I could think about was the treatment that was waiting for me once I got home. In my thoughts, my lowlife lover came into focus, he had a mean streak, a gun tattooed on his chest, a scar on his right cheek. He had a bit of a belly, but his cock was big, larger than my CEO’s. I left the office at exactly 5pm and first stopped by the arts-and-craft store to pick-up a heavy rubber mallet. And then I went to the adult store. I recognized my stoic tattooed cashier.
- “I need a bigger one!” I said
- “Sure thing.” she said, as unfazed as last time, pointing me to a selection of dildos.
Back home, my clothes on the floor, I stood my back against the wall, scared of my imaginary abuser. I knew his temper could flare at any minute.
- “Did you have a good day?” I would dare.
- “Shut up, bitch! You fucked up today, didn’t you? Now it’s time to pay.” He would yell.
I swung the mallet and shoved the head against my belly.
- “Owwwww!” Oh that was painful. But I knew he wouldn’t care. I swung again… “owww my god!”. Tears were coming to my eyes. Still he wouldn’t stop. One more in the thigh… “aaaaoouucch!” I dropped the mallet and fell on my knees, my leg throbbing in pain.
That last one hurt a lot. Both in my fantasy and in my apartment I was crying. He would be turned on by my suffering, and would take me now. He wouldn’t care if I wanted it or not. He took his dick out.
My new dildo had the same length as the previous one, but it was thicker, roughly the size of a normal girl’s wrist, which of course was smaller than my fat sausage arms. My crotch was wet again, disgustingly so, what a slut! I pushed the head of the dildo against the entrance of my sex.
He would have no consideration for my pleasure, so I pushed hard. It hurt but I felt I deserved it. I hammered my insides, it didn’t take long until I orgasmed, I imagined that my brutal lover would come inside me at the same time. I was left panting on the floor, wet, naked and humiliated, just how he would like it.
Later that night, lying in my bed, my old CEO lover would visit me.
-”You slut!” he would tell me, “Not only do you get caught trying to eat cookies, but you cheat on me with street trash? Lie on your back and let your head drop at the side of the bed, I’m going to fuck your throat. You’re going to be sorry for what you did!”
I did as he asked, opened my mouth wide and slowly pushed the smaller dildo in my throat. After a month of practice, it didn’t take much effort to push his dick all the way in. It took a few minutes of fucking until I started to convulse and expel the slime that used to be my lunch all over my face, eyes and hair. He was not done with me.
- “This makes up for your overeating fat ass, but you still need to be punished for cheating on me!”
He would flip me around like a bloated pancake. There would be no mercy. I had feared that he would want to take me from behind for some time now, but today was the day. I had really screwed up and I deserved to pay. The throat slime on his dick would have to do for lube, there was no choice for me. He was determined but at least he would go slow, he knew it was my first time.
I placed the toy’s head against my butt hole and slowly pushed. This was unnatural. I had taken it in my pussy and in my mouth countless times before, but that was different. I tried to relax but I couldn’t. I knew he wouldn’t care, so I kept pushing. The pain was agonizing and I was struggling to stay quiet. A high-pitched “aiiiiiie!” escaped my mouth as the head popped inside. Thankfully, I was so tight it would only take a few pushes for the old CEO to come inside me.
That day I had been humiliated by my boss, beaten and fucked in my three holes by my two imaginary partners and abusers. And I had my lunch’s puke smeared all over my face and inside my asshole. A price I was happy to pay to stay on track.
March 21st
I couldn’t believe it, the scale said 199lbs! Dieting was tough, there were definitely ups and downs. But today was a good day. Sure I was still a fat girl and was not completely safe from being called a fat cow by a stranger on the street. I was a smaller cow now, I could see some of my pants getting looser, I was so happy!
Tonight would be a celebration, I would invite all my lovers and let them have me. I had been a good girl and they would reward me with their dicks. In the previous month and a half, I had learned to know them better. My old CEO’s name was Eduard, he was 55 and married with two kids. He knew I was not looking for an official commitment, so he would not even bother removing his wedding band anymore when we met. My thug’s name was Robby, he was a biker in a gang. I was also just a side action for him. He didn’t care about society, the laws, and feminism wasn’t in his vocabulary. He wasn’t one to shy away from beating me up if I slipped-up from my strict food regimen.
And there was Taylor, the one I had met last. Taylor was a sadist, he was the one who understood my perversion the best. Eduard and Robby, despite their flaws, were optimists. They would always hope that I would behave well. And if I failed they would punish me and help me fix it by fucking my throat and making me puke. Taylor however, knew I was a worthless girl with no self control, and knew I needed constant punishment to remind me to behave. He also had the most impressive tool between his legs.
Taylor sensed that today could be dangerous. Sure, I had reached a great milestone, but this was exactly when I needed to be careful. He knew very well that especially on this day, I could let my guard down and slip-up, and the consequence could be devastating. Before I got dressed, he would tell me:
- “You are going to wear these clamps on your nipples, during the whole day. It will keep you in pain and remind you not to get comfortable. It will help you focus. To prove your dedication and celebrate, today you will avoid all food, you will be fasting!”
- “Yes Master.” I replied, lowering my eyes. He was the only one I called Master, he demanded it.
I took the large black paper clips in my hands and one by one, with difficulty, opened them and released their merciless bite on my nipples. The pain was sharp, and radiated all over my chest. Putting on my bra accentuated it, bending the clamps and adding a twist over the pinches. My poor nipples and areolas would be ever present in my mind that day.
The real torture though, were the numerous breaks I had to take. As instructed by Taylor, I went to the bathroom every hour or two. To avoid any issue with blood flow I had to regularly remove each clamp, let my nipples recover. And then I had to put them back on the bruised skin, mauling the extremely sensitive black and purple skin of my extremities. The throbbing got worse as the day went by, it became harder and harder to keep quiet during those breaks. On my last two times,I had to use a rag as a gag, to avoid screaming at full lungs in my company’s bathroom.
My three men were waiting for me when I got home. It would be Eduard’s first time there, we had always met in my fantasy hotel room before. He would speak first:
- “We’re all proud of you, Emily. You did good! You deserve a good fuck!”
The other two would nod and we all immediately moved to the bedroom. I quickly removed my clothes and slipped on the bed. No reason to be shy, everybody here had already seen me naked and much worse. Robby would start with my mouth. I would do my best to accommodate him. I could take him to a point, but pushing down my throat was always a challenge. Eduard would first lubricate himself in my wet vagina, then switch to my ass. I took him easily. Eduard was not stretching me as much any more, but I still liked him. He was with me at the start of the journey, and he was special in my heart.
Then Taylor would come in. I knew he wanted all my holes, but I could only take him in my pussy at this point, and even then only the head would really fit in. His dick was truly gigantic. I remembered the first time I had seen it, at the adult store. The tattooed cashier had warned me to be careful, and not to worry if I couldn’t take it fully. He was so big but I wanted very much to please my Master. He was the one who helped me the most, especially on important occasions like today.
I was heaving on my bed, eyes closed, my legs spread. I felt good overall, the pressure on my belly was lower than before, I was more comfortable with myself. I was tempted to just relax and enjoy, but I would be a selfish bitch if I didn't push myself to satisfy all three of my men. First I made sure I gave my best to Eduard by pushing his silicon dick fully into my ass. I heard him murmur:
- “Thank you Emily, I am very comfortable here, let me stay inside you for a while…”
Then, with my two hands, I pressed Robby’s cock against the back of my mouth. I could feel the pressure building. It took several tries but finally the head slipped-in. I freaked out for a moment, was there any risk of damage to my throat? But remembering how Robby would enjoy it made everything worth it. I pushed and pulled a few times, each time going a bit deeper. I was proud of myself, finally being able to take him this way. With a bit of practice I was confident I could take him all the way.
Finally it was Taylor’s turn. He would let me remove my clamps, finally. I knew it was not out of mercy though, he loved to see me suffer way too much. He would order me to grab each clamp and pull them off without opening them. I started to cry at the idea, but it was fair. It was thanks to him that I hadn’t slipped today, even better I had fasted! I had to pay him back, I had to obey. I pulled as hard as I could, inflicting the worst pain on my breasts. The clamps finally came off, but I could see blood seeping down from my left nipple.
- “I did it Master!” I said proudly.
- “That’s a good obedient girl!” He would reply.
I felt special, it was not often Taylor would give me a compliment.
- “Now I will take you…” he would add. “...in the ass.”
- “Master I can’t…” I would reply immediately, failing to catch myself before contradicting my Master. Oh my god what had I done!
- “Put your clamps back, Slave!”
- “Yes Master sniff… I’m sorry master…”
I obeyed, crying profusely. I might destroy my nipples, but there was no choice. I had offended my Master and now I could not allow the smallest disobedience. One by one, I put the clamps back and screamed each time. Then I had to ask Eduard to get out of my ass. I felt sorry for him, he was not happy, I am not sure if I would see him again.
I took Taylor’s enormous plastic member with both hands and started to push against my sphincter. There was no way it would go in. Impossible. I pushed and I pushed and I pushed. My ass opened little by little but still I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t obey my master. I felt like a worthless fat bitch. All the joy I had from crossing the 200 lbs threshold and fasting all day was gone. Suddenly I was so hungry.
Taylor was a caring Master though, and he didn’t leave me hanging. He acknowledged the situation.
- “You will not make it Slave, it is obvious. I am ready to forgive you, but I will ask you two things.”
- “Oh thank you Master, I do not deserve such kindness…”
- “First starting tomorrow, you will start training your ass… and your pussy… so that in time you can take me fully.”
He marked a pause and then added:
- “Second, you will let Robby crush your tits as punishment for your failure.”
- “Yes Master, if this is what pleases you.”
I let my thug’s dick out of my throat, and moved back to the living room. I kneeled in front of the coffee table, and laid my fat tits flat on it. I had to remove my clamps once more. Oh my god did it hurt! How did I get to this? It was a good idea from Taylor, to clamp my nipples and keep me focused. I had messed it up just like I always did, and now I was paying for it, dearly.
I swung the mallet again, and Robby’s blows came. “Ahhhhhhh!” the first one came on the white flesh of my left breast, and then the right “Aaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!” He was merciless. Finally, the heartless bastard landed a punch directly on my bleeding nipple. I arched my back and rolled on the floor, and gave the most strident scream “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!” I saw stars, white, black and passed out.
May 4th
I sat in the dive bar, ordering a cheap beer. It was my first time going out all by myself in a very long time. I was still not sure where I had found the courage. I was steadily losing weight, the memory of my excruciating pain back in March had been good motivation. I knew what Taylor and Robby could do to me if I slipped, and that kept me straight.
I had seen less of them these past few weeks. And I had thought to myself, maybe I could meet a nice guy, in the flesh for a change. So I put on a cute red dress with a low cut neckline, trying to show my advantages. I was still chubby for sure, but at 171 lbs I was less ashamed of my curves. I hoped I would look attractive enough for at least a nice guy to come up to me. I would be way too shy to strike up a conversation with anybody.
It happened! A man came up to me, he looked good, if a bit dangerous, with a leather jacket and a weathered face. It felt like a punch in the gut when he asked me how much it would be to suck his dick in the parking lot. Oh my god, could I have looked so slutty? What was wrong with me? I mumbled that I was not like this and I didn’t need money… I didn’t know what I was saying but he smiled at me, and offered to buy me a drink.
I was grateful, I smiled and we had a good time. I let him put his hand on my arm, then on my thigh. It was good to feel the real touch of a man on me, I had forgotten how it felt to be close to someone. I liked how he talked to me, he was making me feel special. As I got lost in his eyes, he smiled and asked me if I wanted to meet him in the toilets. I said yes! I wanted him to touch me more, I was craving his contact. After all my sacrifices it was time for me to reap the rewards, I was attractive again, I was fuckable again… god that felt good. In the restrooms I closed my eyes and moved my lips towards him, I so wanted a kiss….
Instead he grabbed my hair and banged my face against the stall door. I panicked, what was happening? I wanted to scream but immediately my face was shoved in the dirty toilet and his powerful arm was holding me down. I had to fight with all my strength to keep my nose and mouth out of the dirty water long enough to take a breath. I was breathing, coughing and swallowing shit water. I flailed and I kicked but it didn’t matter, he pushed himself inside of me and fucked me in the most disgusting way. I felt my soul being torn apart. He left me crying on the piss soaked floor of the toilets, kicking me in the guts for good measure, and stealing my wallet.
- “Thanks for the fuck you fat whore!” He exclaimed, driving a final stake through my heart.
I don’t know how long I stayed on the bathroom floor. I know it was long enough for a few guys to come and go, nobody cared. To them I was a disgusting whale lying where she belonged. When I got up, I didn’t talk to anybody, I just walked home, with my torn, piss and shit stained dress.
Robby was waiting for me. I felt so ashamed. I had been so naive, and betrayed my trusted lovers to get taken for a whore and assaulted? I couldn’t even look my imaginary friend in the eyes. He walked towards me, and punched me right in the face. The mallet caught me just below the cheek-bone and opened my skin. Well deserved. I fell on my knees crying. Then he took me in his arms.
- “Never do this again!” he told me.
- “I swear!” I said, sobbing heavily. “I thought… I don’t know what I thought, I am sorry…”
Robby chose to show me his sweet side:
- “Don’t worry Emily, I will find this guy and take care of him. Trust me he will regret what he did.”
- “How? You’re not real!” I replied.
- “That won’t be an issue. Did that ever stop me from beating you up sweetie? Were your bruises not real?” He reassured me.
- “Thank you Robby, I promise I will not let you down again.”
August 19th
I was home, I was safe. I had been craving food all day at work, thank god I was busy and didn’t have much time to think. Even with all the help from Master Taylor I was barely able to stay afloat. I removed my high heel shoes, my pants-suit and my shirt. At 133 lbs, I was looking more and more “normal”, even if the skin around my waist was seriously flabby. The loose folds on my stomach were still hidden by a wide leather belt compressing my belly, but I knew the skin under it would look even worse. I shouldn’t worry about it, I told myself. When I would be in perfect shape, I could have the extra skin surgically removed, people in Hollywood did it all the time.
At work I was getting compliments from colleagues, and I was definitely more at ease in social situations. However, the cravings were coming back in full force. I was very worried that a small slip-up would throw me all the way back. I could not go back! No, I could never go back to who I was before. It had been too painful to come this far.
In front of the mirror, I unfastened my bra revealing heavy white breasts covered in red dots. The tacks lining in the insides had poked at my soft flesh all day, and I felt relief releasing the pressure. Then I unscrewed the small metal vises around my nipples. They were not as painful as the paper clamps, but these I could wear for a long time without breaks, and they were still effective at keeping my mind off the hunger. Master Taylor was happy with the way my tits looked. “You deserve the pain for letting yourself go.” he used to tell me. I know this was for my own good, and it helped keep my mind focused.
Finally I unbuckled the belt and the strap between my legs, and I carefully removed the dildo from my pussy and the but plug from my asshole. Those were Master Taylor’s toys, he had ordered me to buy them and I had to wear them at work every day.
- “Dinner time!” he murmured in my ear.
God did I hate him for this. He watched me as I licked both toys clean, dutifully swallowing any remnants of my own juice and my own shit off. It was his way of making me pay for my betrayal at the bar. He had never told me explicitly but I just knew. Where Robby was straight forward and just punched me in the face my mistake, Taylor was instead devious and making it last, ensuring I never forgot what would happen to this stupid pig-slut if she thought she could leave her Master behind. Sometimes, there were small pieces of excrement dried up on the plug, and he forced me to scrape it up with my teeth. I obeyed thought, because I fully deserved it.
Then Robby would take over:
- “I can’t have a flabby bitch as my side piece of ass. Do you want me to get embarrassed when I bring you to a bike club party and hand you off to the group for a good time? How will your pig body reflect on me?” He would throw in my face, genuinely concerned.
Under his command I exercised: Squats, push-ups and so on. The most embarrassing were the planks, the loose skin of my belly was pooling down and almost touching the floor, and he would always make sure I noticed.
- “See what I am talking about bitch? You need to do better!” He always reminded me.
I tried my best. Invariably after my routine he would fuck my throat. He had done it gently at the beginning, but that didn’t last and by now it meant he would violently jerk off with my head. I would simply grab the bottom of his dildo-dick with both hands and frantically push and pull as if I was trying to squash bugs deep inside my esophagus. His silicon dick was now longer too. Well I told myself he just hadn’t fully pushed it in, until I visited the adult store again and upgraded my abuser’s tool. Now there were fifteen inches of him to handle. I could almost take him all in, on good days.
Despite his mean streak we felt connected to each other, and he always came right when I retched acidic bile and what little was left undigested from my lunch. It was exhausting to please him, but I needed to. He was keeping me safe and on track. I also owed him big time for taking care of my rapist. I had no memory of it, but I was told that a point-blank shot to the back of the head, with a hunting gun had done the trick. And I was grateful to have such a violent man as a close friend and lover. The weapon itself was now safely wrapped in a blanket and hidden at the very back of the broom closet.
After making sure I got plenty of fluids, which usually meant one or two quarts of water, it was time to prepare for bed. Night time was the most dangerous, I could so easily give-in to temptation. Thankfully my loyal men were here to help me. They were so dedicated, they were willing to keep me filled all night so I didn’t fall off the wagon.
The first part was the catheter, I owed them at least not to get up in the middle of the night. Inserting it was routine now but it still felt unnatural and it hurt. The trick was to put plenty of lube and then shove the silicon tube far up my sensitive pee hole, and then attach the clamp. No matter how uncomfortable the pressure on my bladder would get, I would keep it all in.
The nine-inch Robby would come next, thankfully he hadn’t yet asked to sleep with his full fifteen inches length inserted in my mouth. This shorter version of his silicon dick would go fully inside me though, making a visible bulge in my throat. It had taken dedication and training but I could now breath all night with his dick lodged in my gullet. Sure, I would occasionally wake up in a panic, my lungs hurting for air in the middle of the night. But that was the nature of our relationship, there was a price to pay for his help.
Then Taylor and his friend Paul would present themselves between my legs. They were both impossibly big, but I had trained hard, and now we were finally able to make love fully. Tonight Paul entered my pussy, he pushed himself hard all the way up against my cervix. Maybe one day I could train myself to take him even deeper, into my womb. Taylor still had to force his way inside my colon, but with all my training and my constant wearing of butt-plugs, it was now feasible at least. Once the head was in he would go as deep as he could. The bugle on my distended belly was truly a badge of honor. I had trained hard to take my master all the way and I was now thin enough that I could stroke the head of his cock with my hand, through my belly.
For the night, and with their blessing, I would secure their organs inside of me. Robby with a leather gag, and Taylor and Paul with a rope looped around the base of their colossal members and then around my belly. Taylor was telling me he loved the extra pressure from the belly rope, on his dick inserted deep inside my ass.
Finally I would secure my ankles and my wrists with the four ways Velcro shackles Taylor had gotten for me. It was not perfect because I could still undo them if I wanted to. But then what was truly perfect in this world? And with my abusive lovers’ cocks locked inside of me, I was getting filled with something much healthier than food. I was on my way to success.
November 12th
I was monitoring the entrance of the toilets, carefully waiting for the last girl to come out. I had been pretending to work by the copy machine, to get a full view of the corridor and make sure the way was clear. The most important thing was that Paul, Taylor and Robby did not see me. I had to be careful these days, it was like they were constantly following me around.
Finally I took the risk and ran all the way down to the very last stall. It was the place where Peter and I would see each other whenever we could. Peter was new, and he was different. He was not overbearing like the other three. He was sweet and always told me he cared about my happiness. It was such a relief, compared to the constant abuse and brutality of the three other men in my life.
He arrived shortly after me, leaving me just enough time to catch my breath.
- “How are you doing my love?” he would tell me.
- “I’m always good when you are with me…” I would reply. I was falling deeper in love with him every time we saw each other.
- “I know how to make you happy, my love.” he replied.
I slipped off my skirt, and unbuckled my leather belt. The butt plug would stay secure in my asshole, but Taylor’s pussy dildo had to come out. I knew it was a bit of a betrayal, but at 116 lbs now I was very healthy by all standards, and I should be able to reap the rewards of all my work. I sat on the toilet and spread my legs, showing my fiery pubis, and my erect love button hungry for his attention.
Peter handed me a chocolate bar, and knelt in front of me. He loved to see me suckle on it while he was working his magic tongue in between my legs. To him it was a bit like I was blowing him. See, Peter was messed up like me, he had trouble getting hard, and we had never properly made love. That’s why he was so good with his tongue, that’s why he had learned to vibrate it like he knew I loved. We were two broken lost souls, and we were lucky we had found each other. I pressed the pink egg harder and harder between my pussy lips against my clit, and took a bite off the chocolate bar. I was in heaven.
I had to put my hand on my mouth when I came, my body shook violently. I was in much better shape now, my orgasms had become more powerful, they rippled through my whole body. I could feel my muscles I didn’t know I had a few months earlier, contracting uncontrollably. It was so beautiful!
I knew very well how much I owed to Taylor and the others. But I deserved to have fun too, I deserved to be happy with Peter. Would I dare to tell them? What would they do to me?
Back home, the atmosphere was heavy. Taylor came to me and bluntly asked:
- “What did you do today? Is it chocolate I smell on your breath?”
- “No of course not, do you really think I would ruin everything now?” I replied. He had no way to know, I always brushed my teeth multiple times before coming home.
- “I certainly hope so! We are not losing you to your addiction again. Just to be on the safe side, there will be extra punishment for you tonight.”
- “Yes Master.” Is all I could reply. We were good, he didn’t really suspect anything, he was just being careful.
For my punishment, I was to undress but keep my tack bra. Then I was to carefully arrange three triangular wood bars on the coffee table, and kneel on them for one hour, my chins supporting my full weight against the sharp edges.
It hurt like hell but it’s not like I hadn’t done it before. After the time was up, Robby came in and punched me in the tits, through the tack bra. The last hit was really hard and I rolled off the table in agony. For the first time the tacks had actually fully pierced through the skin and the right cup of my bra was turning red, seeping the blood.
He said he did it for me, because he cared. But I suspected the bastard simply liked to beat women up. I couldn’t wait to be with Peter again the next day.
January 1st
I was at home, sitting naked on the couch and crying my eyes out. All hope was lost, I knew it. I hadn’t heard about Peter for two weeks now. This little impotent asshole was just using me to boost his ego and satisfy his twisted fetish of eating red pussy. He couldn’t care less that he was ruining me and all my hard work in the process.
My heart was broken, and no punishment could stop me from filling the void in my soul with food. All my suffering would soon be for nothing, and I would end-up even fatter than before, I was sure of it.
And even my trusted friends didn’t want to hear from me. I couldn’t blame them after my betrayal, but I needed them so badly, They were not stupid and they knew, like I knew, that I was beyond the help of even their most brutal selves. If they had been here, I knew exactly what they would say: “You are hopeless, pig!”, “Game over, you were not good enough to make it!”, “Thanks for wasting our time with your pathetic life!”, “Soon you will be a fat ugly whale again”. I could almost hear their scorn, their disgust of me.
My scale said 142 lbs, I had regained so much! How could it be so hard to hold up? It was not fair, life was not fair. I jumped as Eduard entered the room. I hadn’t seen him since March. His steel gaze was more serious and determined than I could ever remember seeing.
- “Long time no see, pig!” He started.
- “I’m so sorry sir… I’m so desperate… I need your help…” I cried.
- “Oh I will help you Pig! Believe me I will!” But there was no warmth, no care in his voice. It was ice cold.
- “How?” I asked, lost in my despair.
- “You know how. You know there is no hope anymore. Deep down you know what must be done…” He paused. “Others may be better at your regular punishments, but this boat has long sailed, hasn’t it? Believe me, it is when permanent decisions must be made that we see the true character of men. Unlike them I have what it takes to handle our current situation.” He was talking in the harshest tone.
It was obvious he was not joking, and I could clearly see the cold-hearted CEO at work, ready to make a painful cut when there was no other choice. I knew there was no time to waste, it would have been pointless. I directed him to the closet where I kept the hunting gun. He was perfectly familiar with its operation. He loaded the double barrel with a buckshot cartridge each.
With dread and resignation, I followed his steps to the bedroom and lied on the bed, my head hanging at the side, just like how he used to fuck my throat. Except this time it would be a cold steel dick going inside me. Grabbing the head of the barrel with my two hands, I helped Eduard to push it against the back of my mouth and down my throat. With all my training, the barrel slid through, although the front sight was excruciatingly scratching my insides.
I shoved it all the way in, there was no reason to hold back now. Only when the wooden body wouldn’t fit between my stretched jaws did I stop. I could feel the two tubes and the painful sight deep inside my chest, like an acid reflux from hell. It didn’t matter, the weapon was trained on my sick stomach, the source of all my pain. Very soon it would all be over, and I would never gain those pounds again.
I pressed the trigger. An impossible bang busted my ears, and an atomic explosion blew up my guts. I had the mental image of a rusted tin can shattered open by a firecracker, bursting with a mash of spaghetti bolognese. Soon a tsunami of pain overwhelmed all. It was so violent it ripped my soul from my body. I briefly saw my bed turning bright red, and the devastation of my torn entrails, and then all faded to black.