{"loaderData":{"4":{"story":{"id":"c52ddc8b-8046-461f-9921-79f7315d13eb","seriesId":null,"seriesName":null,"currentUserId":"00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000","added":"2024-11-10T00:41:06.14Z","title":"Damsel In Distress (Retired)","slug":"damsel-in-distress-retired","shortId":"pY9aw8yQ","authorNote":null,"disclaimer":"Not to be reproduced without permission.","type":"Short","paidUrl":null,"synopsis":"Daphne Blake is determined to lose her reputation as a hapless, bondage-prone damsel. But sometimes life has other ideas.","partCount":1,"parts":[{"partId":"e88a1343-fdea-4cc5-8759-19ba0e006022","title":null,"summary":"\n This story, set in the world of Scooby-Doo, features damsel-in-distress bondage and some humiliat","wordCount":10069,"readTime":50,"number":1,"state":"Published"}],"currentPart":1,"contentTitle":"Chapter 1","content":"

\n This story, set in the world of Scooby-Doo, features damsel-in-distress bondage and some humiliation; it's not explicitly sexual but reader discretion is advised. It was written as a commission for @RayBraver2 and is intended to follow on canonically from The Case of The Luna Ghost by @Empoleon666. There are gagtalk translations at the end of the story for those who are interested.\n

1. The Case Of The Ghastly Ghost

\n\n

\"I'm so over this damsel-in-distress nonsense.\"

\n\n

Daphne Blake blew a stray lock of auburn hair out of her eyes and glared defiantly at the rest of the gang. Given that her wrists were still bound in front of her and she had been ungagged for all of two seconds - the expensive green scarf was back around her neck where it belonged - the declaration was not entirely convincing.

\n\n

\"Are you sure, Daph?\" said Fred, smirking. \"We always assumed you enjoyed it! You really should have said something.\"

\n\n

\"Enjoy this?!\" If looks could kill, Fred would have been pushing up the daisies. \"Enjoy getting tied up and carried around like a sack of potatoes? Enjoy being gagged with my own scarf? Enjoy having my tights yanked up by some handsy ghost?\" Remembering that last part, the feisty redhead turned and bestowed an awkward, two-handed punch on the slumped-over figure in the white clown costume. There was no response.

\n\n

\"But jinkies, Daph, it does seem to happen an awful lot,\" Velma pointed out. \"Mathematically, it is highly improbable that an able-bodied woman in her mid-twenties who isn't trying to get captured should be taken prisoner four times in any given ninety-minute duration.\"

\n\n

\"Rive rimes!\"

\n\n

\"Thank you Scoob, five times. The statistical analysis doesn't lie, I'm afraid.\"

\n\n

\"The statistical analysis can kiss my butt. I wasn't walking around asking to be kidnapped.\" In an effort to change the subject, Daphne pouted at Fred and batted her eyelashes. \"Can you untie me, please?\"

\n\n

Fred hurried over to assist, unable as ever to resist the appeal of a damsel in distress - even one who refused to accept that designation. But Velma ploughed on with the stubborn perseverance that had proved the downfall of so many sinister amusement-park owners across the nation.

\n\n

\"Go on then, Daphne. We already know how you got tied up in the janitor's closet, and ribboned up in the balloon room, and wrapped up on the conveyor belt, and packaged up in the life-sized doll room. Tell us what happened this time.\"

\n\n

\"Well...\" Daphne knew it wasn't going to sound good. But it had seemed like such a clever idea at the time! \"It was when I was being the bait...\"

\n\n

Velma raised an eyebrow. \"I thought you might be a little too good at that job.\"

\n\n

\"I was very good at it! I noticed that the ghost always seemed to truss me up, so I thought it must be keen on that sort of thing - you know, bound and gagged damsels in distress, all that stuff. So I figured that the ghost would find me irresistible if I was tied up.\"

\n\n

\"Ruh ro.\"

\n\n

\"Like, tell me you didn't tie yourself up, Daphster,\" said Shaggy.

\n\n

\"I may have done. Just a bit. But that isn't how I got caught! I'm just setting the scene.\"

\n\n

Fred had finally finished unpicking the knots around Daphne's wrists, and he now whipped off the cords with a flourish.

\n\n

\"Don't tell me,\" he laughed. \"You locked yourself in a set of antique manacles and handed the ghost the key. Or you wrapped yourself up with duct tape, like a neat little parcel.\"

\n\n

\"No!\" Daphne was conscious, as on so many occasions in the past, that the gang were looking at her as if she was a complete liability. The worst part, somehow, was the way they all seemed to find her susceptibility to capture so amusing, even endearing.

\n\n

\"The plan had worked! I was luring the ghost into our trap. But then it... caught me, with a jump rope. And tied me up. And started grabbing my... you know. So I told it not to, and it gagged me!\" Daphne blushed with embarrassment and frustration.

\n\n

\"Never mind, Daph,\" said Fred, smiling patronisingly. \"You just can't help it, can you? I'm the ideas man, Velma here looks after the boring details, Scoob and Shaggy do... their thing, and you're the damsel in distress who gets kidnapped. We're a brilliant team!\"

\n\n

Fred was saved from Daphne's angry reply by the timely arrival of the Mystery Machine, which smashed through the door of the factory and squealed to a halt mere feet from the startled gang. And moments later, the warehouse was a circus of fans and media, all clamouring for information about the case - including the identity of the Luna Ghost, who turned out to be Old Man Smithers, the creepy janitor, in an elaborate disguise.

\n\n

It wasn't until the gang made it outside that they were able to continue the conversation. But it didn't go well. Velma was furious that Fred had taken credit for her plan. And Daphne was furious that she had spent so much time as a captive.

\n\n

\"Daph, look,\" said Fred, unhelpfully. \"It's not our fault that you always get kidnapped.\"

\n\n

\"I do not always get kidnapped. I can't believe you'd say that to me.\"

\n\n

\"Oh, please,\" said Velma. \"You come with your own ransom note.\"

\n\n

There was no coming back from that. Daphne stole Velma's glasses; Velma accidentally throttled Fred half to death; and Shaggy attempted a food-themed motivational speech which somehow made everything worse. Before they knew what was happening, the gang had fallen out completely and gone their separate ways, swearing never to speak to one another again.

2. The Case Of The Disappearing Damsel

\n\n

As far as Daphne was concerned, breaking up the gang was the best idea she'd ever had. And it had been her idea, whatever Velma might say on the matter.

\n\n

\"Always getting kidnapped, am I?\" she muttered to herself. \"Come with my own ransom note, do I? Laughably straightforward for villains to bind and gag me, is it? I'll show them!\"

\n\n

Daphne was more determined than ever to leave behind her reputation as a damsel in distress. Never again would she mmpphh helplessly from behind a tight gag, pleading for a big strong man to come and untie her hands and feet. Never again would she allow a villain to toss her over his shoulder like a helpless prize and carry her off to his spooky lair. Hadn't these villains heard of feminism? It was the 21st century, not 1969.

\n\n

Fortunately, she knew exactly where to go.

\n\n

oOo

\n\n

\"My name is Daphne, and I am a damsel in distress.\"

\n\n

\"Hello Daphne,\" the room chorused back at her. There were roughly a dozen young women sitting on foldaway chairs, holding cups of bad coffee. A sign read \"Damsels Anonymous: One Kidnap At A Time.\"

\n\n

\"Let's see. I'm 25, an Aries, obviously! I work as a private investigator. And it's been... three days since I was last bound and gagged.\" She blushed. \"I actually got bound and gagged five times that day.\"

\n\n

The faces around her shone with sympathy and understanding. Daphne felt better already. \"It's okay, honey,\" said one beautiful fellow redhead, who according to her badge was named April. \"We believe in you. Keep going.\"

\n\n

\"I just...\" Daphne sighed. \"I don't want to play this part any more. I'm supposed to be part of a gang, but I never get to do anything fun. There's this one guy, Fred, who gets to be the hero, and my girlfriend Velma has all the clever ideas, and this weird stoner Shaggy says the jokes, and even his stupid dog gets more lines than me because I'm inevitably gagged. Why do they always feel the need to put a gag on me? Why would a ghost care if I can talk? It's so humiliating.\"

\n\n

It all came flooding out, the frustration and embarrassment that had built up over the years. The hours spent tied to chairs. The laughter when her friends pretended not to understand what she was saying through a gag. The total lack of bondage applied to the rest of the gang.

\n\n

\"Have you talked to your friends about this?\" asked April. \"Maybe they could make more of an effort to prevent you getting kidnapped. I bet they always insist on splitting up, don't they?\"

\n\n

\"Yes! Why do we do that, if not to present villains with the perfect opportunity to capture me? It makes no sense at all.\"

\n\n

The group smiled at one another, as if Daphne had stumbled across a truth they had realised long ago.

\n\n

\"That's a common experience,\" said April. \"If you're a damsel, you need to accept that your friends and loved ones won't always have your best interests at heart. They might come and rescue you once you get captured, but for whatever reason they will feel compelled to put you in situations where you're likely to get captured in the first place. It isn't their fault, it's just the way they are.\"

\n\n

\"My boyfriend is supposed to go on reporting assignments with me,\" explained a dark-haired young woman named Lois, \"but he always seems to vanish at the exact moment when things become dangerous. I get captured and tied up, and have to be rescued by this other guy I met recently. But I don't blame either of them. It's just the way things work.\"

\n\n

\"If Robin would let me live with him in the forest, I bet I'd be safer. But he insists that I stay in the castle with his worst enemy, who obviously takes me prisoner whenever he feels like it.\"

\n\n

\"Mario goes on a fishing trip with his brother once a month and what do you think happens while they're gone? I get kidnapped!\"

\n\n

\"And my four best friends always turn up slightly too late to stop me getting nabbed by the bad guys,\" concluded April. \"It's not in their nature to prevent trouble, only to deal with it when it arises. And I've accepted that.\" She smiled. \"One day you will too.\"

\n\n

Daphne looked around the group. She knew the women were trying their best to offer good advice, but she felt uneasy.

\n\n

\"I didn't come here to accept the way things are,\" she exclaimed. \"I want to learn how to change them!\"

\n\n

oOo

\n\n

\"Okay,\" said April. \"Let's try a roleplay. You be you, and I'll be a villain.\"

\n\n

\"Right.\"

\n\n

\"Stop right there, my proud beauty!\" April was doing a deep voice and some highly convincing facial expressions. \"You're my prisoner now!\"

\n\n

\"Well jeepers, mister! I guess I surrender. I won't try to escape, I promise!\"

\n\n

\"Good! But I don't trust you, so I'm going to tie you up. Minion, pass me the rope!\"

\n\n

A young lady in a pink jumpsuit handed over a coil of thin cord - Daphne noticed that there was a coil under everyone's chair - and April gently drew Daphne's hands behind her back.

\n\n

\"Is this okay?\" she asked quietly. Daphne nodded.

\n\n

Her wrists were crossed and tightly lashed together with the cord, which was wrapped around and then between them. Daphne was depressingly familiar with the technique: it was simple but effective.

\n\n

\"I cannot allow you to run away, fair maiden, so I shall bind your pretty legs.\"

\n\n

April, giggling just a little, knelt in front of Daphne and quickly tied her legs together, using more and more coils of rope provided by other members of the group. With ankles and knees tightly bound, April knew her legs were largely useless to her. Although hopping was still an option, and one she had used in the past.

\n\n

\"Since I've got some rope left over, I might as well tie it around your arms.\"

\n\n

The rope encircled Daphne's chest, with multiple loops snugly pinning her upper arms to her sides. This felt like overkill.

\n\n

\"Gee, mister, is this really necessary?\"

\n\n

\"Silence, impertinent damsel!\" April flourished a brightly patterned bandana. \"Is it okay if I gag you now?\" she whispered. Daphne nodded, and the cloth was folded, then placed over the top of her lips and knotted at the nape of her neck.

\n\n

\"Our proud beauty is silent at last!\" gloated Daphne's redheaded captor.

\n\n

\"You know, I can still talk through this thing,\" she pointed out.

\n\n

\"We know it's not very effective,\" said a blonde in a long red dress. \"But it's traditional. Besides, if you insist on talking through the gag, the villain will feel obliged to do something about that, and you don't want to see some of the gags they sell these days. Best just to pretend you're more silenced than you really are.\"

\n\n

This really was good advice. \"Gnnn phhnnkhnng,\" Daphne said, feeling duplicitous. [1]

\n\n

\"That's better,\" said April. \"Now, what would you normally do at this point?\"

\n\n

Daphne thought for a moment. \"Mwmrngglmm nhbnnph nnmffmcphnflmmm?\" [2]

\n\n

\"Maybe you could try escaping?\"

\n\n

\"Nhknm, Mn mmnmm!\" [3]

\n\n

She started by twisting her arms about, trying to free her wrists. But the rope around her torso reduced her leverage so much, and the rope around her wrists was so tight and secure, that it was useless. She couldn't reach any of the knots with her questing fingers. And no matter how much Daphne strained and squirmed, none of the ropes showed any signs of fraying or coming undone. After five minutes of determined wriggling the bonds felt exactly as tight as when April had applied them. No - in fact, they felt tighter.

\n\n

\"Nph'ph nn gnnd,\" Daphne admitted, grudgingly. \"N'mm nmfmr gmph nnph nf phhnph.\" [4]

\n\n

April smiled and patted Daphne on the head. \"We knew that. But struggling only made you feel worse, didn't it?\"

\n\n

oOo

\n\n

It was ten minutes later, and Daphne was untied and sheepish.

\n\n

\"Is there any hope for me?\"

\n\n

\"Maybe not as an escape artist,\" grinned a pretty brunette in a yellow jumpsuit. \"But then, there really isn't much point. You could spend years learning to escape from simple bindings, but the villains would simply adapt and bind you more thoroughly. You're at the gentler end of the spectrum right now and I don't think you'd enjoy the upgrade.\"

\n\n

There was a murmur of agreement.

\n\n

\"So what do you think, honey?\" asked April. \"Are you ready to join us in the Damsel In Distress Affirmation?\"

\n\n

The group began to chant.

\n\n

\"I might be gagged but I've still got a voice. It's okay to be helpless. Being captured isn't a failure...\"

\n\n

\"No!\" The room was suddenly silent. \"What a load of hooey. I might not be able to escape from ropes, but I sure as heck can learn to beat up the losers who try to put the ropes on me. I swear to you all, I'm going to travel the world, learning from the greatest martial arts experts, and make sure that no villain can truss me up and gag me ever again!\"

\n\n

Daphne stood up to storm out of the room, then realised she had got her feet tangled up in her own coil of rope.

\n\n

\"Sorry, could someone give me a hand?\"

3. The Case Of The Intriguing Invitation

\n\n

Two years later, two young friends met up by chance in the airport.

\n\n

\"Charter service to Spooky Island will begin boarding momentarily,\" said a monotone voice over the PA. Fred and Velma checked their tickets, then looked at one another in disbelief.

\n\n

Before either could comment on the coincidence that both happened to be travelling to the same remote island on the same flight, they heard a familiar voice.

\n\n

\"What do you mean I can't have seven carry-on bags?\" protested Daphne, sailing regally into view. \"That's so economy.\"

\n\n

\"Daph?\"

\n\n

\"Crap.\"

\n\n

Daphne lowered her sunglasses, realising what had happened.

\n\n

\"Oh no,\" she said. \"I'm not talking to you guys!\"

\n\n

Miming melodramatically she zipped up her mouth and threw away the key. And then, annoyed, she changed her mind. How dare they horn in on her adventure?

\n\n

\"What the heck are you doing here?\" she said, lips miraculously unzipped.

\n\n

\"Isn't it obvious?\" said Velma, with just the hint of a sneer. (Of course she had worked it out, thought Daphne.) \"We all received the same letter from one Emile Mondavarious... the reclusive owner of Spooky Island.\"

\n\n

\"Not fair! I was gonna solve the mystery all by myself for the first time ever.\"

\n\n

Fred smiled infuriatingly. \"How are you going to save yourself when you get caught?\" he wondered out loud.

\n\n

\"I'm a black belt now. I've transformed my body into a dangerous weapon.\"

\n\n

Fred and Velma chuckled at this. They couldn't help it.

\n\n

\"It's true!\"

\n\n

Poor Daphne didn't get a chance to defend herself properly, because yet another familiar voice piped up.

\n\n

\"Far out! I guess we're, like, all going to Spooky Island, man!\"

\n\n

That was Shaggy, which meant that Scooby wasn't far behind. And just like that, the gang was reunited.

\n\n

\"Hey gang, have you heard?\" said Fred maliciously. \"Daphne's turned herself into, what was it? A lethal object?\"

\n\n

\"A dangerous weapon.\"

\n\n

\"Riiiight. And how dangerous do you think that body will be when it's bound tightly with rope, wrists and ankles all neatly tied up, your helpless body lashed securely to a chair with a gag in your mouth?\"

\n\n

Daphne blushed with annoyance. Why couldn't they stop mentioning her embarrassing experiences as a damsel in distress? She was trying to leave that reputation behind! Sometimes she almost thought that Fred liked seeing her in tight humiliating bondage.

\n\n

\"Say, Daph,\" Fred went on, \"the next time I rescue you, which should I untie first: your hands, or your gag?\"

\n\n

Daphne fumed, but the rest of the gang couldn't help but smile. Velma let out a small giggle before stifling herself, which was all the encouragement Fred needed.

\n\n

\"What's the best treatment for rope burn, Daph?\"

\n\n

\"I wouldn't know.\"

\n\n

\"Sorry Daph, you'll have to repeat yourself. I just can't understand you without a cloth over your mouth.\"

\n\n

\"Goshdarnit, Fred! You are not going to have to rescue me again! I've turned a corner in my life. I am not a damsel in distress any more!\"

\n\n

\"Oh, come on, Daph. You don't expect us to believe that, do you? How are you going to stop yourself getting captured?\"

\n\n

\"With my martial arts skills!\"

\n\n

Daphne suddenly became very calm, and a smug smile spread across her face.

\n\n

\"While you were doing the lecture circuit and Velma was shooting rockets into space I was learning how to fight. Judo, kung fu, Jeet Kune Do, funk dancing... you name it, I've mastered it.\"

\n\n

She leaned in close to Fred and her voice dropped to a whisper.

\n\n

\"You should watch your mouth, pretty boy, or I might show you my skills. And believe me, one round with me and you'd go crying back to mommy.\"

\n\n

Fred gulped, noticing for the first time the change in Daphne's stance, her toned muscles, her air of confidence. Maybe this was for real? He forced a smile.

\n\n

\"Hey, I was just kidding! We're pals, aren't we Daph? Now, why don't we get on that plane before it leaves without us...\"

4. The Case Of The Captivating Castle

\n\n

When they arrived at their destination, the gang were greeted by Emile Mondavarious, the island's owner. He believed the place was cursed: its excitable young visitors were mysteriously being transformed into brainwashed automatons.

\n\n

Velma and Fred each smugly boasted that they would work out the solution first, but for once Daphne thought she had them beat. Not just in solving the mystery, but in proving herself a hero rather than a damsel in distress.

\n\n

\"You guys are going to look like total, total idiots,\" she crowed, \"when you're captured and I'm the one saving you! Hey Velma, I wonder what you'll look like with a gag in your mouth? Awfully cute, I expect!\" She grinned, looking forward to being on the other side of the ropes for once.

\n\n

The gang raised their eyebrows at Daphne's newfound confidence, but there was no point standing there and debating when there was a mystery to be solved.

\n\n

Who, then, was the culprit? Was it N'Goo Tuana, who led the sinister firelit ritual on the first night? Was it the muscular and intimidating ex-wrestler Zarkos? Was it the real-life voodoo master with the suspiciously pathetic voodoo skills? Daphne didn't know, but she was sure the answer could be found in the Spooky Island castle.

\n\n

The difficult part was convincing Shaggy and Scooby to come along, especially after the incident with the alleged monster in the alleged scary forest. But Daphne had been working with the pair long enough to know how to motivate them, and a few strategically deployed Scooby Snacks did the trick where appeals to their chivalry did not.

\n\n

Surprisingly, in fact, Daphne need not have bothered recruiting backup, because the castle turned out to be crawling with Mystery Inc personnel. Fred, for instance, swaggered through the door boasting that he'd already found several clues and warning Daphne that she might be in danger. And when she promised to \"open a can of 2,000-year-old Chinese whoop-ass\" on any bad guys, Velma took the opportunity to frighten her by hiding inside a giant skeleton monster costume. Typical, Daphne thought. Always trying to make me look bad. And why can't those two let me grab the glory for once?

\n\n

Fred, as usual, suggested splitting up - which was annoying, because Daphne had wanted to solve the mystery herself, but now had to do it on her own! And of course she couldn't object to the plan, because this would make it look like she was scared. She wasn't scared. Velma had surprised her, that was all.

\n\n

oOo

\n\n

Daphne's exploration of the castle began quite promisingly. Her friends had chosen different exits, but she wanted to get through the large, heavy door leading to the old abandoned ghost train ride... which was locked. Luckily, Daphne had learned how to do a deadly side kick, and she was able to bust the door open with a single swing of her expertly trained leg. As she danced around happily, feeling good about herself for once, there was a tap on her shoulder.

\n\n

\"Buzz off, Velma!\" she cried, looking back and seeing a familiar monster costume. \"You won't fool me again. Wait... I thought Velma already left?\"

\n\n

The 'monster' reached out and grabbed Daphne around the waist, and lifted her clear off the ground. Whoever was inside the costume was a lot stronger than Velma.

\n\n

\"Wait - you meanie! That was a mean trick!\" she protested, as she was carried through the doors. The ghost paused in front of the ghost train cart, which looked rusty and unreliable. \"Hey, ghost dork! I'm talking to you!\"

\n\n

Ignoring her complaints, the costumed baddy started systematically tying her to the front of the cart, facing forwards like a ship's figurehead. Her wrists and ankles were each anchored to the sides of the little vehicle, forcing her arms and legs back painfully, then more coils of rope were wrapped around her chest and stomach to keep her firmly in place. She wriggled, annoyed to be caught so easily, but couldn't get free.

\n\n

\"You caught me off guard, you know,\" Daphne said, blushing with embarrassment. \"If we had a fair fight, I promise you... say, what's the plan here anywmmmpphhh!\"

\n\n

The ghost slapped a piece of silver tape over the damsel's mouth, followed by another, and one more for luck. The creature then mimed the \"shhh!\" sign, before mockingly waving her goodbye.

\n\n

\"Mmhnph'ph hnppmnnng? Nh nn...\" [5]

\n\n

The cart sped off down the track, gathering speed and making so much noise it seemed sure to fall apart at any second.

\n\n

oOo

\n\n

Shaggy and Scooby had managed to find a room full of food, but were disappointed to realise it was all fake. They were arguing about whose fault this was when a little cart rattled past them at breakneck speed.

\n\n

\"Hey,\" said Shaggy, spitting out a mouthful of plastic sausage. \"Wasn't that, like, Daphne tied to that ride cart that just passed by?\"

\n\n

\"Reah, rye rink rhat rwas.\"

\n\n

There was a pause, while Scooby swallowed a plastic chicken.

\n\n

\"DAPHNE!\"

\n\n

Over against the wall there were a couple of pallet dollies: small wheeled contraptions used to move crates around. Thinking quickly, the two friends grabbed these and rushed out of the room, chasing after the cart as if Daphne's life depended on it. And it probably did.

\n\n

Whoever had designed the ride had really put their heart into the project: the route was festooned with torture-themed decorations, most of which were genuinely life-threatening. As Shaggy and Scooby zoomed alongside the cart, riding the dollies like skateboards, they did their best to keep Daphne breathing. There was a row of armoured knights lined up by the side of the track, swinging their axes in a deadly arc, but the plucky pals snatched up swords and used them to parry the blades away from Daphne's helpless form. (\"Cnph mm frmm ymnn nnnndnphph!\" she complained ungratefully when they threw the swords away.) The pair used faux-medieval shields to protect her from spewing flamethrowers, then promptly dropped them when they caught on fire. They deflected a flurry of arrows using a heavy steel breastplate, and then to cap it all Scooby came up with the clever idea of diverting the cart on to a different track with an \"under construction\" sign so there would be fewer completed hazards to avoid. It was hard work. [6]

\n\n

\"Like, why couldn't they just have tied Daphne to the tracks like bad guys usually do?\" Shaggy pondered, breathing heavily.

\n\n

But Daphne didn't seem to appreciate the boys' efforts. Up ahead she could see a row of lethal-looking blades sticking out of the wall, and the cart was headed straight for them. Shaggy and Scooby hadn't spotted this, being far too busy congratulating one another on their heroic accomplishments.

\n\n

\"Hmmp!\" she cried through her gag. \"Lmnnh nnph!\" But it was no good, she couldn't make them understand. [7]

\n\n

\"N'm nnph hmmpmmphph! N'm nnph hmmpmmphph!\" she chanted as the cart went faster and faster, trying to remember the Damsel In Distress Affirmation. It was no good. She had no memory for speeches. \"Nn nm hmmpmmphph!,\" she wailed. \"N'm gnnng phn dnnm!\" [8]

\n\n

At the last possible moment, with Daphne's face mere inches from the blades, the cart screeched to a halt. Without meaning to, and by knocking into a control panel in another part of the building, Fred had saved the day yet again.

\n\n

Shaggy carefully removed one of the blades from the wall, and used it to cut Daphne free of her bonds. Pulling a face, she slowly peeled the tape off her mouth, and they headed off to find the rest of the gang.

5. The Case Of The Perilous Pyramid

\n\n

The next room did not contain any of their friends, but it did contain some extremely interesting decorations: a pattern of giant triangles on the floor and a little pyramidal box on a pedestal in the centre.

\n\n

\"This is like something out of Indiana Jones,\" Daphne said out loud, feeling that with Velma absent it was on her to solve the puzzle. \"If I grab the box, a trap will be triggered. Think, Daphne, think!\"

\n\n

What would Velma do? She couldn't see any obvious buttons or switches or pressure plates, and didn't have a handy bag of sand like Indy did... Daphne couldn't see a solution. She stepped forward gingerly and peered at the pedestal, while Shaggy and Scooby hung back.

\n\n

\"I've got it!\" she thought. \"Maybe if I... grab the box?\"

\n\n

She grabbed the box, and the triangles on the floor revealed themselves to be walls, swinging upwards to form a giant cage around the unfortunate box-snatcher.

\n\n

\"Eep!\"

\n\n

There was no time to escape, but Daphne at least had the presence of mind to pass the box through the gap before it closed completely.

\n\n

\"It's okay,\" she said to the boys, trying not to think about what would happen if the bad guys found her in the cage. \"Go and find Fred and Velma. They'll know what to do with the box. Then you can come back and get me out of this thing!\"

\n\n

\"Rokay rhen. Rye Raphne!\"

\n\n

Left alone, Daphne examined the material of the cage. It certainly looked solid, but maybe she could repeat her success from earlier and kick it down? She raised her arms, put her hands together in prayer, and then swung a leg.

\n\n

\"Hah-yah!\"

\n\n

Nothing.

\n\n

\"Haaaah-YAH!\"

\n\n

Nothing. Darn it!

\n\n

But Daphne just knew she could do it. She concentrated as hard as she could, centred her chakras, focused her chi, wound up the mightiest kick she could possibly manage, and...

\n\n

There was a low rumble, and the four walls started to lower. Daphne was delighted, and did another celebratory dance. She was so happy, in fact, that she didn't notice the tread of a large figure sneaking up behind her, until he clapped one meaty hand over her mouth.

\n\n

\"Oho, the senorita enjoys dancing, does she? How sweet!\"

\n\n

Daphne's heart sank. It was Zarkos.

\n\n

\"Escaping? Ho ho! How very amusing. The pretty damsel thinks she kicked down the cage, yes? No, my dear. I opened it myself, because it is time to get you all packaged up, ready for your treatment.\"

\n\n

Packaged?! Treatment?! That didn't sound good at all! Daphne wriggled with all her strength, but Zarkos had the element of surprise on his side. Both arms were tightly pinned behind her back, and she couldn't get anything more than a muffled moan through his enormous hand.

\n\n

\"Gmph nff mm, mnn crmmp!\" she protested, rather quietly. Captured again! How frustrating. [9]

\n\n

Zarkos didn't even bother to answer, but got on with tying his prisoner up very efficiently. Rope tight around the wrists, welding them immovably together; around the elbows, ratcheting them inwards and removing all leverage; around the chest and shoulders, framing the entire upper body in a rope harness; around the knees and calves, so movement was restricted to an unsteady, hobbled shuffle. And then the finishing touch, a knotted bandana jammed in the mouth and secured behind the head.

\n\n

The entire process had taken less than a minute, but Daphne was now completely helpless, a bound and gagged damsel in distress. Exactly what she had vowed never again to be.

\n\n

\"Phnph nphn'ph fnnr!\" [10]

\n\n

\"Oh chickie! Life isn't fair. You're a prisoner now. Get moving.\"

\n\n

He pushed her roughly from behind, guiding her out of the room and down a series of corridors until they met a group of other captives... all pretty young women, Daphne noted with some suspicion. They were all bound and gagged exactly as she was, and had been linked into a convenient coffle by ropes between their chest harnesses. Daphne was leashed to the girl in front of her and they set off, mmmpphing and squirming occasionally but mostly docile.

\n\n

The rope connecting Daphne to the group was so short that it was difficult to see where they were going. But before long their destination became obvious. They were headed for the ritual chamber.

\n\n

oOo

\n\n

When Daphne failed to return, it didn't take a genius to guess what had happened; which was lucky, because Fred was no genius. He didn't know much, but he knew a damsel in distress situation when he saw one. Sighing wearily, he set out alone to rescue the plucky redhead.

\n\n

Of course, anyone could predict that he would react in this way to the disappearance of his pretty pal, and that included the Spooky Island goons...

\n\n

It took an hour or so of exploring deep in the castle, but eventually Fred began to hear familiar sounds. Sounds like \"Hmmp!\" and \"Nnch!\" and \"Frmn! Vmmmn! Rmphcnm mm NNMM!!\" He'd recognise that gagged voice anywhere. [11]

\n\n

\"Daphne, sit tight!\" he called, before smiling at his own accidental joke. He could imagine her 'sitting tightly' like a neatly tied-up parcel. \"I'm coming to get you!\"

\n\n

In a room that could only be described as \"dank\" he finally located the source of the noises. There, tied securely to a chair and wiggling furiously, sat Daphne.

\n\n

\"Frmn!\" she mewled through the cloth bandana in her mouth. \"Wmhnph phnnh ymn phn lmnng?\" [12]

\n\n

\"I think what you mean is, 'Thank you, darling Fred, for rescuing me from captivity yet again.' Isn't that right?\"

\n\n

\"Hmmpphh.\" She lowered her eyes. \"Phhnnh mnn, Frmn.\" [13]

\n\n

Chuckling gently, Fred walked behind Daphne's chair and examined the knots, trying to work out how to free her as quickly as possible. He leaned in, concentrating hard.

\n\n

\"Sheesh, Daph! They sure did a number on you. But this knot will probably get us started.\"

\n\n

As Fred worked, he failed to notice a door opening quietly behind him. A figure dressed in the same costume as the ritual dancers peered in, grinned spitefully when he saw Fred, and raised a dart gun to his shoulder. He looked carefully down the sights...

\n\n

\"Hmmm. Maybe it would be easier if I untie your ankles instead.\"

\n\n

Fred bent over and the dart whistled past, ricocheting off the wall of the dungeon and deflecting back into the unfortunate goon. He grunted softly, swayed, and then collapsed into a heap.

\n\n

\"There you go, my helpless little damsel in distress,\" said Fred smugly, unaware of his lucky escape. \"Freed from your cruel tight bonds at last, by Fred, the brave and daring hero. And now we can remove the gag from your pretty mouth.\"

\n\n

Daphne stood up, massaging feeling back into her wrists. But there was something different about her, Fred realised. She didn't look quite... herself. She looked down at the fallen goon, and then back at her rescuer. And her expression changed to one of utter malevolence.

\n\n

\"Say, Daph... no hard feelings, huh? I didn't mean to tease you, anyone can get themselves bound and gagged... You know what, we don't even have to tell the others about this whole situation. Daph? What are you doing, Daph-\"

\n\n

The beautiful redhead leapt into the air, her body twisting and flexing like a demon-possessed gazelle. One elegant leg swung round, and struck Fred a severe blow on the back of the head. He slumped insensible to the floor.

\n\n

\"Chinese whoop-ass, as ordered,\" said Daphne, dusting her hands. \"Word.\"

6. The Case Of The Protoplasmic Problem

\n\n

It had been a strange evening for the rest of the gang, too.

\n\n

Shaggy and Scooby headed back to the resort's tiki-themed bar for a little rest and relaxation, and to give Velma the mysterious box. By translating its ancient inscriptions (which was her own version of leisure time), she quickly learned that it contained instructions for a secret ritual, and was named... the Daemon Ritus.

\n\n

But that's when the evening went downhill. Grotesque monsters flooded in through the doors and windows and started attacking everyone they could find, subduing dozens of tourists, and even Mr Mondavarious, with their strange green breath. The unconscious prisoners were dragged away for who knew what sinister purpose, while the remaining members of Mystery Inc barely managed to escape.

\n\n

The next morning, however, they woke up on the beach and were surprised to see that everything had gone back to normal: the resort had been miraculously repaired, the students were dancing and playing volleyball like nothing had happened, and most importantly there were no monsters prowling around. Velma decided that they needed to solve this mystery which meant, inevitably... splitting up. And she promptly bumped into Fred. Or at least, someone who looked like Fred.

\n\n

\"What happened, Fred?\" she asked. \"We thought you and Daphne got captured!\"

\n\n

\"Fred. Daphne. Captured.\"

\n\n

\"Yes. Fred, are you okay?\"

\n\n

\"Okay, yes. Yo dog, did you catch that new vid on the box?\"

\n\n

\"New vid? What's going on, Fred? We need to rescue Daphne!\"

\n\n

\"Damsel in distress?\"

\n\n

\"Well... yes. Yes, she is.\"

\n\n

\"Damsel in distress!\" Fred chuckled. He manhandled Velma and snatched the Daemon Ritus from her bag.

\n\n

\"Let me go, you idiot! Help!\" she called, hoping Shaggy and Scooby were nearby and wishing she hadn't suggested splitting up. But then Fred clamped a strong hand over her mouth and she was forced to accept that, for once, she was the helpless captive.

\n\n

oOo

\n\n

But Shaggy and Scooby had problems of their own. They were currently trying their best to escape from hordes of teenagers, who had all clearly been possessed by some kind of evil spirit. Even Mary Jane, Shaggy's new friend, was showing signs that maybe she wasn't really on their side.

\n\n

Just when they thought they were safe, Scooby stepped on the wrong piece of stone and vanished down a hole in the ground, which left Shaggy with no chance but to follow his best pal. And found himself... in the villains' lair.

\n\n

There was no immediate sign of Scooby. Just stone caverns, sand... and a sinister glowing vat. The latter was emitting howls and flickering shadows, and Shaggy was terrified. He peeped over the edge, and what he saw within didn't make him feel even slightly better.

\n\n

There were faces swimming around the pool. No, not faces. Disembodied heads. Ghostly, protoplasmic heads. One of them was even calling out: \"Shaggy! Shaggyyyyyyyy!\"

\n\n

\"Velma! I'll save you.\"

\n\n

Plucking up his courage, Shaggy reached into the pool and grabbed Velma's head, which he held up in front of his face.

\n\n

\"Thanks Shaggy. Boy, am I glad to see you! Let me go so I can return to my body.\"

\n\n

She zoomed off, and Shaggy fished out Fred's head, followed by Daphne's. Fred happily flew off after his body, but Daphne was less willing.

\n\n

\"Put me back, Shaggy,\" she said snootily. \"I'll figure a way out myself.\"

\n\n

Still determined not to be a damsel in distress! There was no time for this. Shaggy sighed and gave Daphne's ghostly protoplasmic head a careful flick, and it buzzed off.

\n\n

The problem was that the heads - or the souls, to be more accurate - weren't very good at finding their bodies. Clever Velma managed it just fine, but Fred messed it up and ended up inside Daphne's body. Daphne's soul, meanwhile, wound up in Fred's body, and wasn't happy at all, particularly when she saw how much Fred was enjoying the situation.

\n\n

Luckily Shaggy had managed to swipe the Daemon Ritus, which had the power to sort things out. He turned it on, and the four friends' souls all burst out of their mouths and floated about. And after a few missteps - including Shaggy zooming into Velma's body, and realising how nice it would be to possess curves - they finally managed to find the correct bodies. Not a moment too soon, because a fiery explosion made it clear that things on the island were getting close to crisis point.

\n\n

oOo

\n\n

A trip to the voodoo master and a few minutes of exposition later, the villains' plan was clear. They were going to perform the Darpokalypse ritual, sacrificing a pure soul and using the protoplasmic souls as a power source. If the ritual was successful, the creatures would rule the Earth for ten thousand years. Not cool.

\n\n

And the pure soul they planned to sacrifice? Scooby Doo. Really not cool.

\n\n

This called for a plan.

7. The Case Of The Megalomaniac Mutt

\n\n

The plan was simple. Fred and Velma would use pulleys to tip over the vat, releasing all the souls and removing the villains' source of power. Daphne - who was looking truly spectacular in a figure-hugging purple jumpsuit, which she felt was exactly the kind of practical apparel needed for a final battle - would open the vent above the cavern, letting in sunlight. She would then lower the resort's glittery disco skull, which would reflect light around the chamber and destroy all the creatures. Finally Shaggy would find Scooby, and their beloved dog, and the world, would be safe.

\n\n

It was foolproof.

\n\n

Or it should have been. Unfortunately, Shaggy wasn't exactly experienced when it came to setting up pulleys, and accidentally attached the rope to himself instead of the vat. So when Fred and Velma yanked on the other end, Shaggy was sent bungeeing around the cavern, wreaking havoc, bashing into surprised cultists and, most importantly, completely wrecking the pulley system. With the ritual beginning, Mystery Inc now had no way of tipping over the vat and releasing the souls.

\n\n

At first it seemed that this didn't matter. By a mixture of luck and quick thinking, the gang were able to foil Mondavarious's plan to sacrifice Scooby, and the mysterious amusement park owner was knocked to the ground and seemingly injured. But when the gang got closer, they realised it wasn't Mondavarious at all. It was a robot. A robot piloted by none other than Scrappy Doo.

\n\n

The gang had thought they'd seen the last of the irritating canine sidekick when he left Mystery Inc several years earlier. But they were wrong about that: he had been there all along. And thanks to the protoplasmic soul energy, he was far more powerful than ever before. While the gang watched, horrified, he swelled up like a Macy's Day balloon, transformed from a cute(ish) pup into a muscle-bound monster.

\n\n

\"I, Scrappy-Dappy-Doo, have absorbed enough energy to rule the world with my all-powerful army!\" he roared in a new, menacingly deep voice. \"And all I need to complete my transformation is... SCOOBY DOO. Seize them!\"

\n\n

oOo

\n\n

Up above their heads, Daphne was determined to put her part of the plan into action. Everyone is relying on me, she thought proudly. I've got to open the vent and lower the glitter skull. Does that sound like a job for a damsel in distress? Of course not! It sounds like a job for a hero.

\n\n

With the pulley system out of action, there was no way to tip over the vat of souls, but Daphne was confident she'd think of something to fix that problem too. She had never felt so capable, or so cutely dressed.

\n\n

She dashed over to the lever which opened the vent, and pulled as hard as she could.

\n\n

\"Hrngghh!\"

\n\n

It was awfully stiff. Somebody hasn't been oiling this properly, Daphne thought irritably. But if I can just get a bit more leverage...

\n\n

\"Senorita!\"

\n\n

She turned around. Oh no! It was Zarkos, the villainous muscular wrestler. What a creep! But this time, she vowed, he wouldn't get the better of her. This time she was ready to fight back.

\n\n

Zarkos swung wildly, but Daphne was easily able to duck under the punch and hit back with a kick and a backhand swipe. Hey, this was easier than she expected! Even when the big baddy grabbed both of her arms and wrenched them painfully behind her back - a move which nearly always came before the application of tight uncomfortable rope, in Daphne's experience - she managed to do an acrobatic front flip then nail him in the face with a two-foot/one-foot kick combo. As he recoiled in pain, she did a triple barrel roll in midair and landed neatly in superhero pose. This was going to be a cinch!

\n\n

As the fight continued, Daphne found that she was easily able to counter anything Zarkos could come up with, from throws to drop-kicks: the two years of training had imbued her with fighting instincts she could never previously have imagined. Those dorks down at Damsels Anonymous were completely wrong! It was well worth learning to fight back.

\n\n

Zarkos managed to get Daphne in an armlock and started to force her down towards the floor. But whack! She rung his bell with a vicious scorpion kick.

\n\n

\"Awwwrrgghh!\"

\n\n

Roaring with pain, the masked malefactor flipped his smaller opponent into the air and suplexed her on to the hard ground. Then he dashed over to the small and convenient safety fence next to the vent, and climbed up ready for his trademark finishing move: the flying elbow.

\n\n

\"Yaarrrgggh!\"

\n\n

The bodybuilding bozo soared, plunged... and landed on bare earth as Daphne rolled out of the way at the last possible moment. He rubbed his elbow.

\n\n

\"Ow ow ow!\"

\n\n

Daphne smiled. Now you know how it feels to get your butt kicked, creep!

\n\n

The fight was approaching its climax. Daphne twirled into a neat roundhouse kick, her mauve go-go boot whistling past her adversary's face, and then attempted a forearm smash, which was blocked. But this gave Zarkos the chance to grab Daphne and lift her across his shoulders, pulling down on her legs with one arm and her neck with the other. Her back was arched painfully and she yelped in agony.

\n\n

\"Damsel again, eh senorita?\" he gloated.

\n\n

\"Not this time!\" she replied.

\n\n

Chomp! Daphne bit his hand. Roaring with pain, the costumed creep threw her down and stumbled over to the fence. Ka-pow! She followed up with a gravity-defying double flying kick, like something out of The Matrix, then landed and struck a series of cool poses. She started flipping and somersaulting towards the staggering villain in a complex aerial manoeuvre that culminated in a powerful flying backheel to the face. Zarkos was sent tumbling over the fence, and finished up sprawled across the vent. Clinging on desperately with hands and feet, he was a sitting duck for a finishing move: a simple kick, or a solid hammerfist punch, or frankly a strong gust of wind would send him down the vent, his enormous bulk shattering it fully open and filling the chamber beneath with cleansing, monster-destroying sunlight. Victory was assured.

\n\n

Daphne allowed herself to relax. She smiled smugly.

\n\n

\"Now who's the damsel in distress?\"

\n\n

Zarkos looked up, and recognised the gleam of triumph in her eyes.

\n\n

\"Me?\" he quavered.

\n\n

\"Straight up.\"

\n\n

It felt for a moment like everything had switched to slow-mo. Daphne pulled back on the fence wire, which by a curious coincidence closely resembled the stretchy ropes around a wrestling ring. When she pushed off with her feet, the wire lifted her high in the air, soaring gloriously over the fence and towards her supine, utterly vulnerable opponent. She could already hear the crowd cheering, applause breaking out spontaneously, handsome men queueing up to crown Daphne the queen of awesomeness...

\n\n

But something had gone wrong. She had got stuck... in mid-air?

\n\n

Blinking with confusion, Daphne looked about to see what had happened. And then she realised: it was the crane hook. She had jumped so high that she had snagged herself on it, and she wasn't sure she could get down.

\n\n

In fact, as she wriggled and squirmed, Daphne realised that the hook had caught on her underwear and given her another wedgie.

\n\n

\"My butt is stuck!\" she complained. \"Oh boy.\"

\n\n

It was painful, but above all it was embarrassing. Daphne's enemy was down below, gazing up at her, and instead of crushing him with a final devastating attack she was dangling like a fish on a hook. She turned red and hoped Zarkos hadn't guessed about the wedgie.

\n\n

\"Senorita!\" he called. \"What are you doing up there? And why do you look so uncomfortable?\"

\n\n

The wrestler laughed. \"This chick is hopeless,\" he added to himself.

\n\n

Urgh! How annoying. She needed to get down and save the day. With a final twist of her body, and an ominous ripping sound, Daphne managed to dislodge herself from the hook, and she tumbled towards the ground.

\n\n

But instead of landing on Zarkos, as she had planned, she landed on a large and messy pile of chains. It was such a large and deep pile of chains, in fact, that she sank slightly into it; and the more she tried to pull herself free of the mass, the more she sank and the more her limbs got tangled up. Lifting one leg clear meant the other slid further down, and when she reached down into the coiled mess to free her legs, her arms got tangled up as well. The more she struggled, the more stuck she became; and the more stuck she became, the more she panicked, and the more she struggled. Before long she was inextricably wrapped up and completely unable to move.

\n\n

\"Goshdarnit! How can I get bound by a bunch of stupid inanimate chains? Fred is going to bust a gut laughing when he hears about this...\"

\n\n

While this little drama played out, a visibly relieved Zarkos had managed to pull himself out of the vent, and he now walked over to get a closer look at the pickle Daphne had got herself into.

\n\n

\"Stop looking at me, and turn me loose!\" she demanded, accompanied by little clinks and rattles as she struggled against the chains. \"I'm completely helpless, can't you see?! I need help. Jeepers, these are tight. You're a strongman, can't you break chains or sommmpphhh!\"

\n\n

\"Hush now, little princess,\" Zarkos said, stuffing a white handkerchief in Daphne's mouth, then tying a second handkerchief tightly over the top to keep it in. \"There is no point struggling.\"

8. The Case Of The Surprising Saviour

\n\n

Down below, all hell was breaking loose. The giant-sized Scrappy Doo was knocking brainwashed students flying like skittles as he chased Scooby and Shaggy around and around the cavern, determined to claim the sacrifice needed for the ritual. Velma, meanwhile, realised the vat of protoplasm could be knocked over by the pincer holding the Daemon Ritus, but was nabbed by cultists; Fred fought to rescue her using his rope-dart skills.

\n\n

In the end, the critical factor wasn't the cultists or the monstrous puppy; it was Shaggy's kindhearted friend Mary Jane. Scooby had been right all along: she was a villain. With supernatural strength she grabbed Scooby and Shaggy by the throats and handed them over. Time was running out. Where was Daphne?!

\n\n

oOo

\n\n

Zarkos grunted as he secured the final knot.

\n\n

\"There! That should hold you, senorita.\"

\n\n

\"Nnph n chnncm!\" [14]

\n\n

Daphne was defiant, but knew he was right. Maybe she could have wiggled free of the chains eventually, but Zarkos had now added a large amount of rope to her bindings. Her wrists were crossed and tightly bound behind her back; this would have been difficult enough to escape if her elbows weren't also tied snugly together. The goon had wrapped rope around her midriff and chest, squeezing her torso uncomfortably and securing her arms in position. If Daphne's experience counted for anything, she wasn't escaping this in a hurry - but she was having a good try anyway, wiggling and squirming for all she was worth.

\n\n

\"Ha ha! Give it up, little chica! You should have beaten me while you had the chance.\"

\n\n

This, too, was undeniably true, and deep inside Daphne knew she'd blown it. Zarkos had been at her mercy! If only she'd just knocked him down the vent, instead of trying for a dramatic coup de grace.

\n\n

\"You seem to have become the damsel in distress after all. I thought you told me I should... what was it? Say my prayers?\"

\n\n

\"Nf Nm wmnphn'ph bhnnn nnn gnggmn...\" [15]

\n\n

\"Ah, but you are bound and gagged, my pretty. You are a cute damsel in distress, neatly trussed up and completely helpless. You have no hope of defeating me now! I wonder if one of your friends will rescue you? That's what normally happens, isn't it?\"

\n\n

\"Nn! Wlmmm... mnmhm.\" [16]

\n\n

\"Ha ha! I thought as much.\"

\n\n

\"Hmmph.\"

\n\n

Daphne blushed deeply. This was insufferable! If only she could teach this bozo a lesson. But then she looked down and noticed that her right leg wasn't as tightly held by the chains as before... and Zarkos hadn't bothered to add ropes below her waist. She kept him talking while doing her best to free the leg.

\n\n

\"Hmm Phnrhnph. Hnmm'd ymnn gmph phn phphrnng?\" [17]

\n\n

\"Good question, my pretty. I maintain my strength through a careful regi-oof!\"

\n\n

Daphne's lithe leg whipped out like a cobra and delivered a thundering blow to Zarkos's crown jewels.

\n\n

\"Gumph!\"

\n\n

The poor man screwed up his face with pain and stumbled backwards, away from the dangerous lady. Adding to his misfortunes, the vent opening was just behind him, and he tripped on the edge, fell back, and tumbled down into the darkness.

\n\n

oOo

\n\n

Down in the cavern, all hope seemed lost. Zombie Mary Jane had Shaggy by the throat. Velma was in the clutches of a particularly large cultist, and Fred had his hands full. Most importantly, Scrappy had a firm grip on Scooby and was preparing to complete the ritual. Scooby did his best to push back the magical device, but he couldn't hold out for long...

\n\n

But then, at the last possible moment, an enormous crash came from the ceiling and Zarkos came plummeting down, followed by dirt and the wrecked remains of the vent. He landed on the edge of the vat, tipping it over, and protoplasm gushed over the side; disembodied heads began to whizz around the chamber, some zipping up through the vent to find their bodies on other parts of the island.

\n\n

With the vent gone, a hole was left in the ceiling, through which shafts of sunlight pierced the gloom. The monsters in the cavern scurried to get out of the way. Then the glitter skull swung into view, and reflected sunlight in a thousand bright dots around the chamber. The creatures didn't stand a chance, and one by one they were struck by the light and exploded.

\n\n

The brainwashed cultists gradually regained their senses as they got their souls back; Mary Jane put Shaggy down and gave him a confused smile. There was a vast collective groan, as if five hundred people were waking up from a bad dream at the same time.

\n\n

No longer forced to defend himself from the mob, Fred saw his chance. His rope dart whipped out like a cobra and SMACK, N'Goo Tuana was knocked unconscious. Shaggy took his place at the pincer controls and wheeled the device round to face Scrappy Doo.

\n\n

The plus-sized puppy was showing no signs of surrendering. He waved his paws around threateningly.

\n\n

\"Mystery Inc! This ain't over. Not by a long shot! I'll rock you, and sock you...\"

\n\n

The pincer tapped him on the shoulder, and he turned around.

\n\n

\"Like, dude?\" said Shaggy.

\n\n

\"What?!\"

\n\n

\"You're a bad puppy!\"

\n\n

The pincer plucked the Daemon Ritus from Scrappy's chest and the pup started shrinking like a balloon with a leak. After a few seconds he was back to his old size.

\n\n

\"Come on, I can still take ya! Put 'em up, ya mangy mutt. I'll...\"

\n\n

Scooby absent-mindedly backhanded him into the wall, and the battle was over.

9. The Case Of The Vengeful Villain

\n\n

There were lots of hugs. They had saved the world, and nobody seemed to be seriously hurt. Fred looked even smugger than usual. Mary Jane gave Shaggy a kiss, and Velma practically threw herself at the handsome stranger she had met in the bar the night before. The real Mondavarious was discovered in a cellar beneath the cavern and released; he was ecstatically, almost embarrassingly grateful, and insisted that Mystery Inc would have to accept a hefty cash reward. And, he added when Shaggy and Scooby looked unimpressed, as much food as they could eat.

\n\n

Which left Daphne. Where had she got to?

\n\n

Above their heads, the danger-prone redhead was feeling pretty good about herself. Sure, she was still technically bound and gagged; after the successful kick on Zarkos her legs had got tangled up in the chains again and they felt tighter than ever. Roped and chained up as she was, it was almost miraculous that she had managed to hop and hobble and crawl over to the vent and dislodge the rope holding up the glitter skull. Exhausted, she had flopped down after achieving this feat and lay helplessly in her bonds.

\n\n

Still, she had saved the day. She was a hero, and that felt good. If she could only get free of these annoying ropes and chains, or even dislodge the muffling gag and call for rescue, she could head down to the cavern and celebrate with her friends.

\n\n

\"Mmmnphh! Hrnghhh!\" She strained and bucked and thrashed, but the rope stayed securely knotted and cinched, and the chains refused to budge. \"Hmmp!\" The gag, too, stubbornly continued to do its job, stifling her cries for help and keeping her almost silent. \"Hmmp mm, Frmn! Hmmp, Vmmmn!\" It was no good. Her friends couldn't hear her up here. [18]

\n\n

Maybe there was a knife somewhere around she could use to-

\n\n

She turned, and was surprised to see a hooded figure standing behind her.

\n\n

\"Hmhn nrm ymnn?\" Daphne asked. But the figure said nothing, and started walking slowly towards her. [19]

\n\n

\"Wmnnph,\" she cried. \"Phphnp!\" [20]

\n\n

But her gagged cries were carried away on the wind.

\n\n

oOo

\n\n

A few hours later, and now thoroughly worried, Mystery Inc returned to their hotel in the hope that Daphne might have got there ahead of them. But she wasn't in the gym, she wasn't in the bar, and she wasn't in her room.

\n\n

The four friends congregated in Fred's room to formulate a rescue plan. But there was a surprise waiting for them: a note left on his bed. Fred tore it open and scanned the contents.

\n\n

\"It's a ransom note!\" he cried. \"Daphne's been kidnapped!\"

\n\n

\"Jinkies,\" said Velma, sarcasm mixing with relief. Daphne being kidnapped and needing rescue put them back on familiar ground. \"What a shocking and unlikely event.\"

\n\n

\"She's being held here on the island. In the amusement park section.\"

\n\n

\"Like, what are we waiting for?\" said Shaggy.

\n\n

\"For nightfall,\" replied Fred. \"They want to meet after dark.\"

\n\n

\"After d-d-d-dark?!\"

\n\n

\"Don't worry,\" said Velma, patting Shaggy on the back. \"I'm sure there won't be any surviving monsters wandering across Spooky Island, plotting dire revenge on the people who foiled their scheme.\"

\n\n

Shaggy and Spooky looked at each other.

\n\n

\"Rikes!\"

\n\n

oOo

\n\n

Daphne gave another wriggle, but she knew it wouldn't help. She had been wriggling furiously ever since she was tied to the chair half an hour ago.

\n\n

\"Mmhm nrm mnn dnnng phhnph?\" [21]

\n\n

\"Why?\" replied the figure, pulling back the hood. \"You ask me why, after ruining my life?!\"

\n\n

\"Ymnn!\" [22]

\n\n

\"Yes, it is I, Old Man Smithers, the creepy janitor! I've been planning my revenge on you meddling kids for two years. And when I saw you land on the island, I knew my chance had come at last.\"

\n\n

\"Wmm pnph mnn nn jnnm!\" [23]

\n\n

\"I got out on probation. Good behaviour - I taught the other inmates to clean toilets. And now I clean toilets here at Spooky Island.\" He shrugged. \"The money's not great, but I do get the satisfaction of a job well done.\"

\n\n

\"Nm mmnrrm nhnnph phhm phphnphm nf nnr nnphphncm phmphphmm, nf pmnpmm lnhm ymnn nrm wmnmhnng phhm phphrmmphph.\" [24]

\n\n

\"What? Oh, for heaven's sake.\"

\n\n

Old Man Smithers reached behind Daphne's head and untied the first handkerchief, which enabled her to spit out the second one.

\n\n

\"I said, I worry about the state of our justice system, if people like you are walking the streets.\"

\n\n

\"Oh, I entirely agree. But what can one man do against the might of the prison-industrial complex?\"

\n\n

There was some noise outside, and Smithers looked out the window of the creepy shack.

\n\n

\"It's your dumb friends. Time to play the part of a damsel in distress, my dear. And you play it so well.\"

\n\n

He pushed the gag back into Daphne's mouth - he had knotted the handkerchief, and it now sat between her teeth - and fastened it securely. The gag was highly effective. She was a mute captive, quite unable to call for help. Then he changed into a new costume: spooky green vampire face, werewolf claws, Fourth-Dynasty mummy headdress, Dickensian clanking chains, ghostly white sheet. Not the most aesthetically coherent costume, but one that caught the eye.

\n\n

The door opened, and the gang stepped inside. First they noticed Daphne, squirming in her bonds and moaning into her gag, and then they spotted the ghost. It was a lot to take in.

\n\n

\"Daph! What happened? Didn't you say you were over this damsel-in-distress nonsense?\"

\n\n

\"Like, how'd ya get captured again, man? Another ghost? Come on, dude!\"

\n\n

\"Jinkies, look at her. She's completely and utterly helpless. You spiteful spectre, let her go!\"

\n\n

\"Rost! Ranother rost!\"

\n\n

Daphne squirmed and mewled ineffectually through her gag. \"Nph'ph nnph nnnphhmr ghnphph, mnn dmhhmmmph,\" she mmmpphhed. \"Nph'ph phhm Lmnnn Ghnphph!\" [25]

\n\n

The 'ghost' laughed cruelly at Daphne's vain attempt to reveal the truth.

\n\n

\"Kids today! So naive. Even the standard of meddling has gone downhill. While you pit your wits against my nefarious scheme, I will take this pretty creature as my prisoner. Good luck finding her again!\"

\n\n

\"But why did you tell us to meet you here-\"

\n\n

Too late for logical questions, Velma, much too late. Smithers slashed the ropes holding Daphne to the chair with a dramatic flourish, then snatched her up and threw her over his shoulder. The rest of the bonds were quite enough to keep her helpless, but she had a good squirm anyway.

\n\n

\"Hm'ph gnfnng mm nnnphhmr wmmngnm!\" she complained, as her tights rode up. It was all very embarrassing. [26]

\n\n

\"Don't worry Daph, we'll solve the mystery, work out who this new villain is, and rescue you,\" called Fred, looking suspiciously like he was enjoying himself.

\n\n

\"Nph'ph nnph n nmmm fnmmnnn...\" [27]

\n\n

The ghost inflated a redesigned and considerably more efficient set of helium balloons and floated gently off into the darkened amusement park, while Daphne did her best to remain calm. She sighed into the gag, and began to recite the Damsel In Distress Affirmation.

\n\n

\"Nmmn mnn bnm gnggmn hnph N'fm phnmm gnm mnn fnncm...\" [28]

\n\n

FIN

Addendum: Gagtalk translations

\n\n

[1] Good thinking.

\n\n

[2] Wriggle about ineffectively?

\n\n

[3] Okay, I will!

\n\n

[4] It's no good. I'll never get out of this.

\n\n

[5] What's happening? Oh no...

\n\n

[6] Cut me free you idiots!

\n\n

[7] Help! Look out!

\n\n

[8] I'm not helpless! I'm not helpless! I am helpless! I'm going to die!

\n\n

[9] Get off me, you creep!

\n\n

[10] This isn't fair!

\n\n

[11] Help! Ouch! Fred! Velma! Rescue me NOW!!

\n\n

[12] Fred! What took you so long?

\n\n

[13] Hmph. Thank you, Fred.

\n\n

[14] Not a chance!

\n\n

[15] If I wasn't bound and gagged...

\n\n

[16] No! Well... maybe.

\n\n

[17] Hey Zarkos. How'd you get so strong?

\n\n

[18] Help! Help me, Fred! Help, Velma!

\n\n

[19] Who are you?

\n\n

[20] Wait. Stop!

\n\n

[21] Why are you doing this?

\n\n

[22] You!

\n\n

[23] We put you in jail!

\n\n

[24] I worry about the state of our justice system, if people like you are walking the streets.

\n\n

[25] It's not another ghost, you dumbbells. It's the Luna Ghost!

\n\n

[26] He's giving me another wedgie!

\n\n

[27] It's not a new villain...

\n\n

[28] I might be gagged but I've still got a voice...

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